Don’t be afraid to promote yourself – even if you’re shy or introverted
In a world that often seems to reward the outgoing and penalize the introverted, it can be easy to feel like you’re at a disadvantage when it comes to promoting yourself or your brand.
But being shy or introverted does not need to keep you from being successful in self-promotion. In fact, there are many advantages to promoting yourself from a more introverted perspective.
Talking about shyness and introversion
Speaking as a shy and introverted person myself, I can tell you a couple things: If you consider yourself shy or introverted, you are not alone by any stretch of the imagination. There are many millions of people like us out there. And included in that bunch are many celebrities and incredibly successful and wealthy people.
Yet, there is still a low-key stigma associated with this trait. Today we live in a super-connected social media based world. Too often – especially in self-promotion and marketing – the focus is on competing for attention, “putting yourself out there”, and making viral videos.
Not helpful if that’s not the type of person you naturally are.
What is the difference between being Shy, Introverted and Social anxious?
It is common for people to mix up the terms shy, introverted and socially anxious. While there are some similarities between these three personality types, there are also several key differences.
Shyness and introversion are often used interchangeably. In fact I myself do that even on this website. But they are actually two different things.
Shyness is the fear of social situations. Well, maybe fear is too strong a word. I think it’s more of a timidity when you enter a new or unwanted social situation. It’s more about being cautious rather that open. When you are shy, you’re more likely to want to stand back and observe. Kind of blend into the background.
Introversion on the other hand is a preference for solitude or small groups. When an introvert is allowed to work alone or in smaller groups, that is when we become more energized.
Again speaking for myself, I very much enjoy doing things (like crafting for example) in solitude. And when I talk with people I greatly prefer it to be one-on-one or in very small groups. For me, having dinner for four is a hundred times more pleasant than going to a party or mixer.
(Side note: There are times when a really big crowd – like in a nightclub for example – can paradoxically give the feeling of being alone.)
Social anxiety is more than just shyness or introversion. It’s an intense fear of social situations that can cause physical symptoms like sweating, racing heart, and nausea. People with social anxiety often avoid social situations altogether or endure them with a great deal of anxiety and discomfort. How to deal with that is best left to professionals and is well beyond my expertise. I know there are therapies and solutions for this, but I am not qualified to comment on them.
Challenges of being shy or introverted
If you consider yourself Introverted or shy, you know that it comes with its own set of challenges. See if anything on this list resonates with you:
- Self Doubt or a lack of confidence
- Being perceived as uninterested, aloof, or even rude
- Being perceived as lacking leadership skills
- Feeling a lack of energy from being overstimulated
- Discomfort with small talk
- Trouble building relationships
- Trouble working in teams
Even if you don’t think the terms of shy or introvert apply to you completely, you may have some of these same feelings.
Shyness and introversion are often misunderstood. People who are shy or introverted can be forced into social situations that make them uncomfortable. This is especially true in traditional workplaces. The ability to perform in front of others is lauded as a strength in our society.
Shyness on the other hand is often seen as a weakness or a poor quality to have as a leader. But that is not a universally held belief and it is not natural, and there should be no shame it in.
Benefits of being shy or introverted
Not only are the challenges introverts face surmountable, but also there are several advantages that we have to others.
Introverts are often better at listening than their extroverted counterparts. They’re more likely to be patient and take the time to understand what’s being said. This can be a valuable trait in both personal and professional relationships.
Introverts are also typically more empathetic than extroverts. They’re able to put themselves in others’ shoes and see both sides of every issue. This allows them to find creative solutions that everyone can agree on.
Finally, introverts tend to be detail-oriented thinkers. They notice things that others might miss and are always looking for ways to improve upon existing ideas. This makes them excellent problem-solvers.
Want the benefits in list form? OK.
- Better at listening
- Grasp what is being said more quickly and fully
- Tend to think more before speaking
- Tend to be more empathetic
- Tend to be more creative and solution oriented while silently thinking as compared to more extrovert people who are using their energies to gain and hold attention
- If you are an introvert, You’re better at writing your thoughts than speaking them which can serve to make your meaning clearer.
How to overcome shyness, and should you?
I think you can probably guess y feelings on this subject. Shyness is not a weakness or problem to be overcome.
I think forcing shy people to behave as though they do not have that trait is akin to making left-handed people learn to write with their right hands.
That mindset is more about making other people more comfortable around you, not the other way around. And all that mental energy would be better spent focusing on your strengths.
My success story
I spent several years managing a group of employees who numbered 22 at it’s highest point. Did I have to overcome some of my trepidations speaking in front of that many people? Yes.
Was it hard? A little at first, but I learned some tricks and techniques that made it easier.
But that said, after the daily meetings was when I got more done with them one-on-one or is smaller groups. I knew each one of them and could pick up on nuances and non-verbal cues better that my counterparts. I don’t say that to self-aggrandize because – well, I’m shy and all that.
And that’s not just my opinion. My team ranked highest in our district quarter after quarter after quarter. And I was chosen as one of 8 top performers in the Northeast for a company with way over 2,000 people in my position. It was an honor that I was not particularly happy about since it meant I was obligated to speak at a special occasion celebrating us.
Ironic, since the way I had gotten that distinction was by leveraging the assets that my introversion gave me. I used those strengths to be a good leader, and my employees did the rest.
So yeah, there are times when you’ll need to “get over” your shyness to be successful in traditional workplaces, but as a rule for day-to-day stuff you can achieve a great deal by focusing on your unique strengths, rather than overcoming your perceived weaknesses.